


Spells make everything better

by TFALokiwriter



Series: Sirius Black was the Potters Secret Keeper [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Heartbreaking, I will obliterate your heart, M/M, Sirius Black Lives, Sirius Black is insane, St Mungo's Hospital
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:55:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22872850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TFALokiwriter/pseuds/TFALokiwriter
Summary: And there is one that leaves people in insanity.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Sirius Black was the Potters Secret Keeper [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1644202
Comments: 4
Kudos: 35





	Spells make everything better

**Author's Note:**

> Tried to make a multi ch fic but instead I got out a short story because the chapter was so goddamn long.

"Pads, I squealed." Peter said.

"And the stars rise and fall," Sirius was singing a made up song resting in a bed quite ill being struck down by a Wizarding illness.

"I was the one who ratted you out." Peter added.

"While space remains the same." Sirius sang.

"Please, talk to me." Peter plead.

"The stardust floating from place to place, thousands to millions, remaining in tact but not quite preserved taking on different shapes and patters, but, my friends, you remain unchanged while I change from time to time." His fingers tapped along the board that had been improvised as a piano that had been enchanted to not play a sound as it was played. "Stardust, stardust, wherever do you go, I follow."

Peter was on the brink of tears then closed his eyes and fought them back. He wanted to be scolded, to be chastised, to be demeaned, to be insulted, and to be thrown across the room with a unexpected spell with a wand that the man had been hiding. That he wasn't really quite insane but sane enough to make up a lie and play along with it for his protection to the expense of everyone around him. Sirius wouldn't have done that. But, Peter would have.

"It has been four years since you sacrificed yourself to save everyone and killed him." Peter said then whispered in such a voice that only Sirius would have heard as the man was singing. "Voldemort."

Sirius paused, then tilted his head, staring at the man like a curious child.

"I am not afraid to say his name." Peter admitted. "But, the looks I get for saying it isn't worth it in public."

Peter looked toward the entrance of the room then back toward Sirius.

"Remus has finally decided to visit you."

Peter cleared his throat.

"Ten years after we got to Hogwarts, Lily, I . . . Did I mention to you this earlier? No, I don't think I have. Lily made us go and register for being animagus then pay the fine for not registering. She went through the process and decided to help make Remus's changing experience a better one. She takes Remus to the country side on his full moons these days and they run amok."

Peter slipped out a series of photos then put them into Sirius's lap. Sirius sneezed into a magical tissue then looked down upon it. The deer was moving around the mangy werewolf as they played leap frog to amusing results. Moony hit his forehead against a tree then chased after the doe with a wag of his tail chased by the one taking the picture that was being kept remarkably still. As though, it were hooked into something. Sirius stared down then began to warmly smile.

"Cute cat and dog." Sirius noted.

"Yes, they are." Peter said. "Ten years ago, I thought that our friendship couldn't last Hogwarts or what came after. You and the others protected it and I tried to _destroy_ it." Peter shook his head. "You could have kept your secret and your sanity if you hadn't protected me at the start of the Wizarding war."

Peter cleared his throat. He became shaky as memories flashed from the first year searching for all the Horcruxes and destroying them even the one on Quirrel's head with a simple unforgivable curse much to Voldemort's shock and final scream that echoed in his head. It continued to echo years after the murder. Doing all that he could to to amend his betrayal and make the fall into the oblivion worth something.

Peter slid down the last photograph on to the blanket covering Sirius's lap. It was of Remus crashed in a mud puddle as he detransformed over the sound of light heart laughter belonging to a man and a woman. He showed more of these photographs to Sirius. Some of which he had shown him before but thought it would that after repeated exposure jog something back. A sliver of ' _We're okay, we just want you to know_ ' that the Potters couldn't bring themselves to seeing him in the hospital for the last few years. Sirius stared at the photographs for several minutes as he did in each session fully absorbing it then shifted his attention on to Peter with curious eyes.

"How far are we to the mountain?" Sirius asked.

"Not far." Peter replied. "But it is not a journey that is taken during a storm."

"Soon." Sirius looked on ahead. "The passage to Misty Mountains is very narrow and troubling."

"It is." Peter said.

"Is it strange to feel that boulders may fall on to me, Counselor Dish?" Sirius asked, concerned yet afraid.

Peter shook his head.

"Not strange." Peter said. "I get that feeling every day."

"Every day?" Sirius asked.

"I call it my personal panic that keeps me on my toes." Peter said.

"Hmm, okay." Sirius shrugged it off.

Peter looked toward the doorway.

"Your partner in crime is here!" Peter announced.

"Crime?" Sirius asked. "What crime?"

Peter patted on Sirius's shoulder with a small smile putting away the photos into his pocket with a twirl of his wand.

"Mischievous things." A flicker of a memory from before struck him of when they were children then departed the room and arrived to Remus. "Pads is living summer camp right now. You're lucky to catch him in that illusion."

Remus could only stare at the man who was staring on toward his direction seeing everything for what they were not. Five years since Harry was born and he was aging well. Youth hadn't quite escaped him. His short hair had, however, grown longer landing to his shoulders and his goatee was kept trimmed as it had been when he was sane. As if Time was treating him well within the St Mungo's Hospital.

"Lucky." Remus said.

"Yes," Peter said. "Lucky."

Remus turned his gaze on toward Peter.

"If he were kissed by a Dementor that would have been a far better way of being able to stomach it and visit him."

Peter's face fell at the tone of Remus's voice.

"Are you?" Peter asked.

"Peter, I will." Remus said.

"Eliminating that memory?" Peter asked. "You are going to wonder-"

"I want to remember him _whole_."

Peter felt his heart break at the comment.

"I see." Peter's voice fell quiet.

Remus stared at him.

"That guilt you talked about in the first anniversary about not convincing Sirius to let you do it. . . Really eating at you. Wormtail, that is torture." Remus said. "Why?"

"It's be. . ." Peter started to say but didn't finish.

 _"It's better than leaving him all alone without a friend to visit him from time to time."_ was what he wanted to say but that would have been too much hurt. The hurt and grief his friend had been through was enough. It would have been a slap to the man's face. It would have been the most severe insult. As a friend, he intended no such thing after being the cause of it all. Peter thought his words carefully over what was the proper reply. Then his mind settled on the most clear answer.

"I didn't try hard enough." Peter replied simply.

"Even if you were persistent, he wouldn't have listened to you." Remus reminded. "He is stubborn like that."

"I should have gone to James and suggested _myself_." Peter said. "Sirius Black should be here." he gestured toward the singing man then back toward Remus. "Not Peter Pettigrew."

"I wish it were that case." Remus agreed with a short lived nod. "I wish it were _me_ in that cot."

"A insane werewolf wouldn't last long, Moony." Peter reminded.

"It wouldn't. . ." Remus said as his voice started to crack. "It wouldn't be so heartbreaking."

Peter looked toward the man in the ward then turned his attention toward Remus, ruefully.

"If there were a dark spell that could reverse his condition but had a cost of trading ones sanity in exchange for someone else; I would take it in a heart beat." Then Peter sighed. "I'll see you, later."

Peter patted on Remus's shoulder then walked on with a sulk as Remus tore his attention off him then on toward the man in the center of their lives. Remus had a brave face then approached man who had his hands in his lap playing with his hands bobbing his head along to the song back and forth humming to it with distinctively. Remus approached the man then approached the insane man and sat down beside him.

"Hello, Padfoot." Remus said. "Harry hasn't stopped asking you."

Remus smiled.

"But, it is not as often. This time he asks, 'Where's the dog?'" he sucked in a breath watching the man sneeze then tilt his head staring at him. "He is in the process of forgetting about you."

Remus rubbed his hands together.

"Five years old and he still hasn't forgotten about the animal that played with him in his first year of being alive."

Remus rubbed his forehead.

"I wish you were there. To see him grow up." Remus began to sob. "Just as I am."

"Heaven must be missin' an angel, missin' one angel, child, 'cause you're here, with me right now, your love is heavenly, baby." Sirius sang in a joyful mode despite the ailment that he was in. And somehow that singing began to make Remus feel good and bad at the same time hearing the familiar song being sang in a cheerful tone. "Heavenly to me, baby."

Sirius sneezed into his tissue paper then chucked it away.

"Your kiss, filled with tenderness," Remus lifted his head over the tired sounding but sickly ached voice as his eyes watered. "I want all I can get, of your sexiness, showers, your love comes in showers, and every hour on the hour, you let me feel your loving power."

Remus giggled cupping the side of his face at the man singing with a tearful smile.

"There's a rainbow over my shoulder, when you came, my cup runneth over, you gave me your heavenly love, and if one night you hear crying from above." His tearful smile grew in width by each passing lyric. "It's 'cause heaven must be missin' an angel, missin' one angel, child, 'cause you're here with me right now." Sirius continued to sing. "Your love is heavenly, baby. Heavenly to me, baby."

Remus withdrew his feelings somewhere inside and sealed them in magical chains for the moment.

He slipped out the small carefully preserved box out of his pocket with a tremble then slid it on to the table as a memory flashed in his mind listening to Sirius singing in the shower with him, cackling and laughing, in their first small apartment after Hogwarts having a small precious moment using the long back scratcher as their microphone singing along to the magical radio in the shower.

Remus was unsure, was it a memory coming back? Or was it just part of his insanity replaying songs that he had heard in full during his lifetime? There was no answer to it. He slid the box forward keeping his emotions at bay regarding the subject. The memory faded away once Sirius had finished the lyrics to the song in full. And the past was replaced by the present. Sirius looked toward the box beside his arm then tentatively slipped it open and flinched yanking his hands back at the sudden movement.

"I was going to ask you four years ago if. . . if . . If you would be my Wizarding husband and I just couldn't find the right opportunity." Remus said. "Go on." Sirius reached his hand out for the box then carefully lifted it up from the counter beside him. "It is for you." Sirius looked toward Remus. "You can have it." The insane man took the item out of the box. "I have no purpose for it."

He slipped the ring on to his ring finger and smiled.

"Precious."

"Very." Remus said. "When I find the opportunity; it just fell apart. It wasn't the time. Not the moment." he shook his head. "The guilt that brings Peter back here for the last few years is stronger than mine."

Remus closed his eyes then reopened them.

"He must like it." Remus said. "Harry gave his toy broom away to a little Wizarding friend that he befriended at Wizarding daycare." he smiled at the memory that crossed his mind. "That was last year." he started to laugh then flicked a tear off. "Should have seen the look on his face." Remus sighed then closed his eyes. "I hope you're listening because this is the last time I will be here."

Remus took the case after his eyes opened, closed it, then put it away.

"I miss you every day, feel like you're there but really you're not and it hurts like bloody hell." Remus said over a dozen of Sirius sneezes. "I want you back in my life like there is no tomorrow. I want you back in your faculties, aware, conscious, not-" his fingers rolled into fists then he shook his fist at the bed. "Here."

Remus relaxed as he fell relieved getting it off his chest.

"That's where you always are. Here. Not gone. Just here and okay. I am not okay with it. None of us are." Remus lowered his gaze then shook his head. "I love you, Sirius." he looked up toward the man who admired the well preserved ring on his ring finger. "And being parted from you by sanity makes it even stronger."

Remus smiled, bitterly.

"Can you hear me? A shred of you? Do you even listen to what Peter tells you?"

Sirius looked toward Remus, almost as though acknowledging his presence, appearing to be tired.

"How did you get in my tent?" Sirius asked.

"You let me in."

"I did? How forgetful of me."

"My name is Moony. You have a name?"

"No, yours?" Sirius stared at him then blinked and tilted his head.

A gut punch into the stomach. He had just forgotten his name. It was a unique aspect of his insanity that made it stand apart from other cases. Some were like cases of what muggles called dementia, some were crazed screaming, some acted like animals, some acted the way that Sirius did. It was random and didn't make sense in the slightest with unforeseen logic.

"Moony." Remus said.

"I'm tired." Came out instead of, _'Moony? Sounds like a nickname. What is it, really?'_

He turned away then moved to his side and fell asleep. Remus reached a hand out for the man's shoulder then placed his hand on it and gave it a small but tiny squeeze.

"Good-bye, Padfoot." Remus whispered.

Remus got up then walked away as the shackles around his emotional box were about to burst as he sped down the corridor and apparated away to somewhere private. He found a private place then fell to his knees and wept for hours. Then apparated back home, threw the small box away, then raised his wand and focused on the specific memory once his tears had dried to remove the painful memory. He closed his eyes then began to cast the spell.

"Obliviate."

And everything was better.


End file.
